Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
