we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
