i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
