He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
