doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When did angry sex become our thing?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
