i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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