I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
