So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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