I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
