I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
