I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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