Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
how drunk are you?
Several
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
