The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
