Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
