ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
