I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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