You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
nutella sex= disaster
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
