That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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