my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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