In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
