then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She announced her abortion via fbk
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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