Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
