this boner is exhausting
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
