I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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