Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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