You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
