stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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