My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
