took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
