he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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