so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
