Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
