Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No I am not eating basil off your cock
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
