This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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