I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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