I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
