so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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