If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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