1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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