youre lurking in front of me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
