I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
