have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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