Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
