apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
