ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
soo... how was my night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
