i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
