He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
