Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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