we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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