Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
