she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
