Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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