As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize