that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
