We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
